Accidents
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 The Last KissA woman was walking down the street, when she was suddenly hit by a car. The car pinned the lower part of her body against a large tree. The paramedics said she had been cut in two and if they pulled away the car, it would kill her instantly. They decided to give her some painkillers and the attending police called her husband. He was told to come immediately. When the husband arrived at the scence, he ran to his wife and they exchanged a few words and a kiss. When they were done, the car was pulled away and she died peacefully. |
| What Killed the Dog A man returns from a long journey. The local sheriff meets him at the train station with bad news. The man finds out his dog has died from eating too much burned horse meat. He the finds out his barn caught on fire from a spark from his burning house. He then finds out his house caught fire from the candles at his mother's funeral. His mother died because she couldn't take the shock of his wife running off with the handy-man. The man is very distraught and can't imagine raising his four children all alone. Then the sheriff tells him that he won't have to do that, the four children died in the house fire. |
| The Failed Suicide An employee is called into the boss' office. He's informed the company no longer needs him and is fired. The employee tells the boss he's only a year away from his pension, but the boss only shrugs and replies he's late for a lunch appointment. On his way out of the office, the boss tells the employee to take as much time as he needs to compose himself. After the boss leaves, the employee breaks down, sobbing. He opens the window of the fourth story window and jumps. Surprisingly, the employee survives the fall and while he's in the hospital he's visited by the company's new boss. The man thanks the employee for falling on top of the old boss, killing him. In gratitude, he gives the employee a promotion. |
| Old vs Young An old lady pulls into a parking lot. She drives around and around looking for an empty parking space. Suddenly she happens upon a car that's leaving. As she begins to pull into the empty space, a teenage cuts her off and takes the spot. As the kid walks past the old lady, he tells her - you have to be young and fast to beat me. The old lady thinks and then rams into the teen's car. The teen runs to the old lady and asks what's she doing. The old lady replies - you've got to be older and better insured, kid. |
| Broiled! A young woman was going to be a bridesmaid in her friend's wedding. She went to a tanning salon to get a quick tan for the occassion, but discovered there was a time limit on exposure time. So she decided to sign up for four sessions, each at a different tanning salon. A few days later, she noticed she smelled a bit funny. No matter how many showers she took, the smell was still there. She visited her doctor and after a thorough examination, the doctor told her she only have a few weeks left to live. All her internal organs had been microwaved. |
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